Messenger

Sitting down with your child and exploring Messenger together is a great way for you to understand more about why they want to use it and look at some of the privacy settings available that can help keep them safe.

Chat to them about the different features available such as ‘Secret conversations’ and ‘Vanish mode’ and agree some rules around which ones they can use.

Facebook has created a lot if information on how to stay safe while using Messenger. Take the time to explore this information and talk about it with your child.

Facebook, which owns Messenger, WhatsApp, Instagram and Threads from Instagram, is constantly updating their privacy and safety features. So it’s important to regularly revisit their information and explore the new features with your child to make sure you’re both happy with the apps.

You should speak to your child about their Facebook friends and Instagram followers as they will be able to chat to both on Messenger.

Your child’s friends or followers will most likely be made up of friends, family and people they know from other offline activities. But sometimes kids might accept friend requests from friends of friends or other people they don’t know.

Set some rules with your child about who they can talk to on Messenger and show them how to decline follow requests from people they don’t know. You could also show them how to remove friends if they’ve already accepted a friend request.

To remove a friend on Facebook:

1) Go to profile of the person you’d like to remove as a friend.
2) Click at the top of their profile.
3) Select ‘Unfriend’ and then ‘Confirm.

To remove a follower on Instagram:
1) Tap your profile picture in the bottom right to go to your profile.
2) Tap Followers at the top of the screen.
3) Select ‘Remove’ to the right of the follower you'd like to remove, then tap ‘Remove’ to confirm.

Help your child think about what they share online and who sees it. Compare it to what they would be happy to share offline.

Use examples that are easy for them to understand: “You shouldn't give your number to somebody you don't know on the street. Is somebody online you don't know any different?”

Listen to their answers. And be positive and encouraging.

Remind them that they shouldn’t share private things, such as:

• personal information, like names, emails, phone numbers, location and school names
• other people's personal information
• links to join private group chats
• photos of themselves
• photos of their body, such as sexual photos or videos.

If your child receives upsetting or inappropriate messages from their contacts on Messenger they might want to report or block them.

Reporting – You can report a one on one or group chat by clicking on the ‘i’ icon and selecting ‘Something’s wrong’. Facebook has more information on reporting conversations.

Blocking – You can also block a person on a one on one chat, or block a member of a group chat by clicking on the ‘i’ icon and selecting ‘Block’. Facebook has more information on blocking.

Explore these features together and talk about when they might need to use them. And remind them they can talk to you, another adult they trust or Childline about anything they’ve seen online.

Messenger lets you choose whether people can contact you using your phone number or not. If this is turned on, people with your child’s phone number will be able to send them a message. If it’s turned off, when somebody sends your child a message using their phone number it will go to ‘Message requests’.

‘Message requests’ is a place where spam messages or messages from people you don’t know go to. Your child can still see these messages and can choose to reply.

It’s important to remind your child not to reply to people they don’t know and to use the ‘I don’t want to hear from…’ option in message requests to stop that person messaging again.

Facebook has details on how to change who can send messages to your Messenger inbox.

Explain that you understand the internet is a great place to play, create, learn and connect. But remind them they can talk to you if anything upsets or worries them.

Reassure them that you won’t overreact – you’re just looking out for them.

It’s important to remind your child that they can talk you, another adult they trust, like a teacher, or Childline about anything they see online.